Caution: Brondos Hymnwriting

Today I "wasted" some time having a go at composing some verse, but clearly committing the error of appending inferior lines and marring the works of such a great wordsmith as G.K. Chesterton. What I have done, as evidenced below, is probably akin to painting a daisy wreath on the head of the Mona Lisa. But I have done it -- after becoming enamored of Chesterton's depictions in first two stanzas, but then being disappointed in his third because he says too little of Christ and His Means.

So, taking the chance that my efforts would be met with either approval or disdain, I send you Chesterton's first two stanzas followed by my own recent creations (which are still likely to be edited further by me):

CHESTERTON:

O God of earth and altar,
Bow down and hear our cry.
Our earthly rulers falter,
Our people drift and die;
The walls of gold entomb us,
The swords of scorn divide,
Take not Thy thunder from us,
But take away our pride.

From all that terror teaches,
From lies of tongue and pen,
From all the easy speeches
That comfort cruel men,
For sale and profanation
Of honour and the sword,
From sleep and from damnation,
Deliver us, good Lord.

BRONDOS:

Thy two-edged sword dividing
What double-minded men,
With scoffing and deriding,
Vainly obscured, do then
Recall midst glorious psalter
That Thou to us drew near --
Upon Thine earth and altar
A Sacrifice so dear.

In truth and peace provide us
What we by grace have heard;
At font and altar hide us
In Christ and in His Word;
And thus delivered, grant us
In faith and hope and love,
To thrive where Thou dost plant us
With thoughts of heav'n above.