What's the Difference?

The other day, I began to wonder if Democrats thought that the right to "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" was our nation's first unfunded public mandate. Maybe the Democrats are simply trying to fund that mandate . . .

Then, while on vacation in South Dakota, I stumbled across a bookrack at a rural gas station which featured books by a local author, Ben Goode. The excerpt below comes from his book, How to Confuse the Idiots in Your Life, pp. 57-59. You might discover and enjoy other titles by this humorist at http://www.apricotpress.com/

Caveat: These caricatures are for entertainment purposes only, intended to give equal opportunity at spoofing both "sides."

DEMOCRATS

A Democrat believes she has a right to force you to live the way she wants you to because only people supported in some way by the government are capable of compassion and understanding and because of a persistent feeling of moral superiority, which she feels because she never discriminates by reason of race, (only against white males and because of religion and political ideology).

Although she's promiscuous and a heavy burden on society because she's on the dole and even though she has had many abortions, she still has very high self-esteem because she recycles her pop cans and because she once went on a march to save the guppies and has a "Celebrate Diversity" bumper sticker on her YUGO.

Democrats believe that aside from themselves, people aren't capable of managing the really important phases of their lives without government help, because everyone is some type of victim. They believe that it's okay if someone breaks the law as long as he is their candidate, that all military personnel are evil.

REPUBLICANS

A Republican believes he has a right to make you live the way he wants to because he has a feeling of moral superiority, because he never discriminates against anyone because of religion, (only because of gender or race and socioeconomic opportunities). He believes a person is above the law as long as he supports free market economics and his candidates. He also realizes that all wars are good because we all get rich, provided we're not too dead.

Although he's pretty much a hypocrite, the fact that he holds higher standards for others, especially Democrats, than he does for himself does not bother him. He still has high self-esteem because he donated $100.00 last year to his alma mater's athletic scholarship fund and because he smiled and gave a noogie to a street person last Christmas.

Republicans believe that anyone who isn't rich must be lazy. In fact, if they themselves hadn't had to wrestle with the burden of having been born rich, they would undoubtedly be even more wealthy and
successful.

Freedom from Gossip

"Luther's conversation was also remarkable for its freedom from any spiteful or frivolous gossip, of which even at Wittenberg there was then no lack. Of such scandal-mongers, who sought to pry out evil things in their neighbors, Luther frequently used to say, 'They are regular pigs, who care nothing about the roses and violets in the garden, but only stick their snouts into the dirt.'"

from Life of Luther by Julius Koestlin, p. 320.

Lowering My Ears

At the barbershop yesterday, the barber quipped to the next client in line. He said that after a man gets married, he can either be happy or he can be right. I wonder what he meant by that...

Look Around You

During the summers, I enjoy listening to the repartee at the speed of light on the Dennis Miller Show. It was there that I learned about the BBC science spoofs entitled Look Around You. The two seasons and associated materials can be found at the Look Around You BBC home website.

I enjoyed the Periodic Table - which has to be examined closely.

The videos are readily available and most easily accessible on YouTube such as this one on maths (as the British are wont to call mathematics), the brain, sulfur and germs.

If you can appreciate British humor, you are likely to go from dead-panned facial expressions to gut-busting laughing your face off. You might never watch NOVA or the Discovery Channel in the same way again. (I wish they'd do one on Darwin in the same manner.)

Luther, Katie, the Garden and the Fish Pond

"Luther frequently assisted his wife in her household. He was very fond of gardening and agriculture, and we have seen how he sent commissions to friends for stocking his garden at Wittenberg. On one occasion, when going to fish with his wife in their little pond, he noticed with joy how she took more pleasure in her few fish than many a nobleman did in his great lakes with many hundred draughts of fishes."

Life of Luther by Julius Koestlin, p 318.

After

After
Robert Browning

Take the cloak from his face, and at first
Let the corpse do its worst!

How he lies in his rights of a man!
Death has done all death can.
And, absorbed in the new life he leads,
He recks not, he heeds
Nor his wrong nor my vengeance; both strike
On his senses alike,
And are lost in the solemn and strange
Surprise of the change.
Ha, what avails death to erase
His offence, my disgrace?
I would we were boys as of old
In the field, by the fold:
His outrage, God's patience, man's scorn
Were so easily borne!

I stand here now, he lies in his place:
Cover the face!

Taking God's Name in Vain

Mollie Ziegler Hemingway has produced an excellent article entitled Vainly Naming the Name for Christianity Today. This would be good material for any catechism class studying the 3rd Commandment (Lutheran numbering of the Commandments) to read.

Regarding the numbering of the commandments (there are three traditions of different ways to number the commandments in the Decalogue), you might enjoy reading James Akin's overview entitled The Division of the Ten Commandments. (Please note that this reference is not an unqualified endorsement of everything that is discussed on that page.)

Luther's Bowling Alley

"Luther also had a bowling-alley made for his young friends, where they would disport themselves with running and jumping. He liked to throw the first ball himself and was heartily laughed at when he missed the mark. He would turn then to the young folk and remind them in his pleasant way that many a one who thought he would do better and knock down all the pins at once would very likely miss them all -- as they would often have to find in future their life and calling."

From Life of Luther by Julius Koestlin, pp. 320f.

Who Stands and Waits

SONNET XIX.
John Milton

WHEN I consider how my light is spent,
Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,
And that one talent which is death to hide
Lodged with me useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, lest He returning chide,
'Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?'
I fondly ask. But patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies, 'God doth not need
Either man's work or his own gifts. Who best
Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state
Is kingly: thousands at his bidding speed,
And post o'er land and ocean without rest;
They also serve who only stand and wait.'

And to turn a quote: "Don't just do something. Stand there."