What's the Difference?

The other day, I began to wonder if Democrats thought that the right to "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" was our nation's first unfunded public mandate. Maybe the Democrats are simply trying to fund that mandate . . .

Then, while on vacation in South Dakota, I stumbled across a bookrack at a rural gas station which featured books by a local author, Ben Goode. The excerpt below comes from his book, How to Confuse the Idiots in Your Life, pp. 57-59. You might discover and enjoy other titles by this humorist at http://www.apricotpress.com/

Caveat: These caricatures are for entertainment purposes only, intended to give equal opportunity at spoofing both "sides."

DEMOCRATS

A Democrat believes she has a right to force you to live the way she wants you to because only people supported in some way by the government are capable of compassion and understanding and because of a persistent feeling of moral superiority, which she feels because she never discriminates by reason of race, (only against white males and because of religion and political ideology).

Although she's promiscuous and a heavy burden on society because she's on the dole and even though she has had many abortions, she still has very high self-esteem because she recycles her pop cans and because she once went on a march to save the guppies and has a "Celebrate Diversity" bumper sticker on her YUGO.

Democrats believe that aside from themselves, people aren't capable of managing the really important phases of their lives without government help, because everyone is some type of victim. They believe that it's okay if someone breaks the law as long as he is their candidate, that all military personnel are evil.

REPUBLICANS

A Republican believes he has a right to make you live the way he wants to because he has a feeling of moral superiority, because he never discriminates against anyone because of religion, (only because of gender or race and socioeconomic opportunities). He believes a person is above the law as long as he supports free market economics and his candidates. He also realizes that all wars are good because we all get rich, provided we're not too dead.

Although he's pretty much a hypocrite, the fact that he holds higher standards for others, especially Democrats, than he does for himself does not bother him. He still has high self-esteem because he donated $100.00 last year to his alma mater's athletic scholarship fund and because he smiled and gave a noogie to a street person last Christmas.

Republicans believe that anyone who isn't rich must be lazy. In fact, if they themselves hadn't had to wrestle with the burden of having been born rich, they would undoubtedly be even more wealthy and
successful.